The Truth About People Who Post Their Relationships Online: What You Need to Know
Hey, hey—I hope you're doing okay. If you're here, you might be going through a tough time, especially if you're dealing with the aftermath of a narcissistic relationship or marriage. It’s a hard road, but remember, you’re not alone, and understanding some things about the online world can actually help you heal and move forward.
The Highlight Reel: What You See Isn’t the Whole Story
You’ve probably scrolled through social media and seen those perfect couple pictures, the “we’re so in love” posts, and the endless stream of anniversaries, vacations, and date nights. It can be hard to look at, especially when you’re feeling vulnerable. But here’s the thing: social media is a highlight reel. People rarely post the arguments, the silent treatments, or the everyday struggles. I know I didn’t.
In a narcissistic relationship, this facade can be even more misleading. Narcissists are often obsessed with how they’re perceived by others. They might go out of their way to post about how wonderful their relationship is, not because it’s true, but because it feeds their need for validation and admiration.
This is what happened to me about two years ago. My ex-husband wanted to flaunt me all over his social media. In his stories and on his page. At the time I thought it was because he loved me. In hindsight, I found out that he was only trying to make his exes jealous. I was the new supply and I didn’t even realize it. I didn’t realize it until I filed for divorce and started uncovering facts about our relationship. Don’t let these posts make you doubt your experiences or your worth.
The Validation Game: Why People Post About Their Relationships
People post about their relationships for various reasons. Some genuinely want to share their happiness, and that’s great. But for many, especially those with narcissistic tendencies, it’s about validation. They crave likes, comments, and external approval to feel good about themselves. It’s not about the relationship itself, but about the image they’re projecting.
When you’re recovering from a narcissistic relationship, it’s crucial to recognize that these posts are not the whole truth. They’re a curated collection of moments designed to get a reaction. Remember, your journey is about finding your own peace and happiness, not about comparing yourself to someone else’s filtered life.
The Impact on You: How to Protect Your Mental Health
Seeing these posts can trigger feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and self-doubt (if you let them). My faith in God is what sustains me. However, it’s important to protect your mental health by:
Taking a Break: It’s okay to take a step back from social media. Limit your time on these platforms, or even take a break altogether. Focus on your healing journey without the distraction of others' highlight reels.
Unfollowing or Muting: Don’t hesitate to unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. You have control over what you see. Surround yourself with positivity and support.
Reality Check: Remind yourself that what you see online is just a fraction of reality. Everyone has their struggles, even if they don’t show them.
Focus on You: Spend time doing things that make you happy and help you grow. Invest in hobbies, spend time with supportive friends and family, and consider talking to a therapist to help process your feelings.
Moving Forward: Building Your Own Happiness
Healing from a narcissistic relationship is a process, and it takes time. Be kind to yourself and understand that your worth is not defined by someone else’s Instagram feed. Here are a few tips to help you on your journey:
Self-Care: Prioritize self-care. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a good book, or a hobby you love, do things that make you feel good.
Set Boundaries: Learn to set healthy boundaries with people, both online and offline. Protect your space and energy.
Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Friends, family, or support groups can provide a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on.
Remember, outside of God, the most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. It’s time to focus on your own happiness and well-being. The right people will come into your life when you’re ready, and they’ll love you for who you truly are, not for how perfect your relationship looks online.
Take care and keep moving forward. You’ve got this.
Javonne
If you need guidance as to how you’re going to overcome a narcissistic relationship, please download a copy of Rebuilding Resilience 100 prompt journal. It has helped me and I’m for certain that it’ll help you.
