Weathering The Storm
Practical Tips for Overcoming a Relationship
Yesterday in Houston there was a terrible storm. Winds were heavy, trees were breaking, rain was pouring and it reminded me of stormy relationships. Breaking up with someone or ending a relationship can feel a lot like surviving a storm. Just like a storm, it leaves behind a mess, and picking up the pieces can seem overwhelming. Whether it's a romantic relationship, a friendship, a family bond, or a professional connection, the aftermath is tough. But just like with a storm, you can rebuild and find calm again.
Here are some practical, tips to help you navigate the aftermath.
1. Survey the Damage
When a storm passes, the first thing you do is check the damage. It's the same with a relationship ending. Acknowledge your feelings and assess what’s been affected. Are you feeling heartbroken, angry, or relieved? Write down your emotions, talk to someone about them, or just sit with them. Ignoring the damage won't fix it; acknowledging it is the first step to repair.
2. Clear the Debris
After a storm, you need to clear away the debris. In this context, that means creating distance. Unfollow, mute, or block them on social media. If it’s a work relationship, establish clear professional boundaries. This isn't about being petty; it's about giving yourself space to start healing without constant reminders.
3. Lean on Your Emergency Crew
In times of crisis, you rely on your emergency crew. Post-breakup, that crew is your friends and family. Don’t hesitate to reach out and let them support you. They can provide a listening ear, offer distractions, and remind you that you’re not alone. Even a quick coffee chat or a long phone call can make a big difference.
4. Take Care of the Essentials
After a storm, you focus on basic needs first: food, water, shelter. For you, self-care is essential. Eat well, get enough sleep, and move your body. Exercise, even a short walk, can lift your spirits. Treat yourself kindly – you're going through a tough time, and it’s okay to pamper yourself a little.
5. Focus on Rebuilding
Keeping busy helps you rebuild. Dive into work, start a new hobby, or tackle that project you’ve been putting off. Staying occupied can prevent you from dwelling too much on the relationship. Distractions can be a great way to give your mind a break and keep you moving forward.
6. Reflect on the Experience
After the initial cleanup, it's important to reflect on what happened. What did you learn from the relationship? What did you value, and what would you do differently next time? This isn’t about blaming yourself or the other person but about understanding and growing from the experience.
7. Set New Goals
In the wake of a storm, communities set new goals to rebuild stronger. You should do the same. Set personal goals for yourself. Focus on your career, learn something new, or plan a trip. Having something to look forward to can be incredibly motivating and give you a renewed sense of purpose. For me personally, I'm looking forward to the completion of my next book. I'm vlogging my journey on YouTube.
8. Seek Professional Help If Needed
Sometimes, the damage is too much to handle alone. Don’t hesitate to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can provide tools and strategies to help you cope and move on. An outside perspective can offer clarity and guidance that friends and family might not be able to provide.
9. Avoid Quick Fixes
In the aftermath of a storm, quick fixes can lead to more problems down the road. Similarly, jumping into a new relationship right away might not be the best idea. Give yourself time to heal and rediscover who you are outside of the relationship. It’s important to feel whole on your own before bringing someone new into your life.
10. Be Patient with the Process
Rebuilding after a storm takes time, and so does healing from a relationship. Don’t rush the process. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. Celebrate the small victories – a day without thinking about them, a moment of genuine happiness, a new connection. Progress is progress, no matter how small.
Final Thoughts
Overcoming a relationship is like surviving a storm: it’s challenging and messy, but it’s also an opportunity to rebuild stronger than before. With time, self-compassion, and the right strategies, you’ll find your way to calm after the chaos. Remember, it’s okay to take it one day at a time. Be kind to yourself and trust that you’ll weather this storm. You've got this.
Javonne
#noexcusetoday