What a Homeless Man Taught Me About Emotional Intelligence
Recently, something happened that made me stop and think about how we see people… and how we respond to them.
A man walked into the store where I work. He looked tired, worn down—homeless by appearance—but he came in with intention. He wanted to buy some shoes. Then he asked for clothes. But really, that wasn't what he needed.
What he really wanted… was to go to the hospital.
He had the money. That’s the part that caught me. He just didn’t look like he did. And that changed everything—for everyone else.
I called a cab for him, at his request. But when the cab driver showed up and saw him, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I need to see the money upfront." Not “Hello,” not “How can I help you?” Just assumption. Judgment. Bias.
Even though the man had money, it didn’t matter. Because he didn’t look like someone who should.
So the homeless man calmly told me, “Call the police. They’ll know what to do.”
So the police were called. The police came. They looked at him. Talked to me. And their response? “There’s nothing we can do. But we can call a paramedic.”
So the paramedics showed up. Kind, but still disconnected. They said, “There’s nothing we can do either… but we can call the city cab. That one’s free.”
And just like that, the man who asked for help from everyone around him got passed from person to person… like a task, not a person.
No one stopped to ask:
What led him here today?
What does he actually need?
How can we honor his dignity instead of just handling his case?
That’s when it hit me: This isn’t just about homelessness. This is about emotional intelligence—or the lack of it—in our communities.
Emotional intelligence isn’t just about managing your feelings or staying calm. It’s about being aware of someone else’s pain. It’s about seeing the human being in front of you—not just their clothes, their skin, or their struggle.
The man didn’t need pity. He needed presence. He needed someone to care enough to understand.
We talk about community a lot. But what kind of community are we building if we can’t even recognize when someone just needs to be treated like a person?
So here’s what I want to leave you with today:
Don’t let someone’s appearance talk louder than their voice.
Don’t miss the opportunity to extend compassion just because it’s inconvenient.
And if you’re in a position to help someone, do it with heart—not just procedure.
Because the world doesn’t need more systems.
It needs more people who see people.
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Javonne